Strength

08/08/08 General

The standard care regimen for someone with diabetes is grueling.

There's the constant monitoring, with its physical and mental consequences. Of course monitoring is followed by medications and food selection, both of which beg a delicate line of accuracy. Then there is the discipline of denial, accompanied by necessary exercise.

It is no wonder that so many fail and then arguably state that the protocol is just too difficult. Such belief is erroneous because it places the responsibility elsewhere, when really it falls squarely on our shoulders. Which is why I feel for most of us when we fail. It is not a matter of "The care is too difficult." Rather it is, "I am too weak."

Strength comes in various packages and is crucial for self-care and everyday success. To harness strength one must possess mental and physical competence. Assessing an undesirable sugar level takes deduction skill. One must assess the reason and the appropriate correction for the failure. Often, it is much easier to simply roll with the problem, correct on the fly, and hope for the best. That is weakness, and it is common and unfortunate and damaging.

Truly, there is no "cannot" because we are physically capable. The issue is a matter of mastering our strength—not allowing ourselves to be victims. Both consciously and unconsciously we know that chocolate cake is wrong for us, as are the doughnuts and the ice cream and every other indulgence that mocks our existence. Yet we give in—not just once, but repeatedly, and that is a classic sign of weakness. We, even if only momentarily, believe that the pleasure from a "forbidden fruit" is more vital to our health than our required discipline.

Exercise is part of that required discipline. I happen to enjoy exercise; always have, and have never understood why more do not embrace exercise or sport. Instead we give into the comfort of couches and televisions and computer screens. We have full schedules that don’t allow time for exercise. I disagree. We keep ourselves from finding the time.

Someone recently asked me, "How do you manage to work out so much with two kids, three jobs, a house..." I cut him off. "It's a priority, plain and simple." I believe such an act reveals the strength we need in the face of doing anything we do not enjoy. If we accept that we must actively work at it, move it to the top of our list and tackle it, in time the struggle will become easier.

"Strong people are harder to kill." I want to live forever, and I believe, secretly, we all do. I realize the impossibility of such, and therefore, accept the tradeoff of a richly-filled life. Inherent in that richness is the necessity of strength. We are all suffering from a disorder we did not ask for, but that does not mean we have to accept it. It should be easy to find the strength to do so; it is already in us.

Eric Devine, 30, has lived with type 1 diabetes since he was 12. He lives in upstate New York with his wife and two daughters where he works as a high school English teacher. Devine is an avid writer and is currently seeking publication of two Young Adult novel manuscripts.