Me, Myself, and I: On Self-Reliance

05/09/08 Living Well

“Be yourself; no base imitator of another, but your best self. There is something which you can do better than another. Listen to the inward voice and bravely obey that. Do the things at which you are great, not what you were never made for.”

Much like with diabetes, I am conflicted by this quote from Emerson’s “Self Reliance.” However, I believe that this reaction is the true essence of the text’s purpose. It makes you think and makes you question. How can I remain true to myself when I may not necessarily know just who that is? How can I know what I was meant for when I have to struggle with the daily existence of the flaws with which I have been made?

Certainly this is a philosophical pool that many of us do not dive into, and for justifiable reasons. Yet it would be inappropriate to dismiss the salient message: know yourself and then rely on it. How many of us are capable of this?

I would estimate that as a general rule, few of us feel secure about who we are. And among people with diabetes, the number is certainly smaller. Why? Because we are not necessarily who we want to be. Is anyone with a disability fully capable of setting down his or her identity without it being colluded by the impairment? Probably not, but I would suggest that does not permit us to dismiss Emerson’s words. No, if anything, we should strive harder than the “untainted” man to know ourselves, because our disease looms large and easily overshadows who we believe ourselves to be.

I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve witnessed people’s faces turn inquisitive, surprised, dismayed, or saddened when I tell them I have type 1 diabetes. The look tells me how their opinion of who I am has changed, and it’s almost always for the worse. Knowing ourselves fully becomes paramount. It would be easy to change my identity from, “I am Eric and I have diabetes,” to, “I have diabetes and that’s who I am.”

When such occurs we are reduced to a number, an unfortunate victim, one of the many. That’s no way to live. So what do we do? Embrace ourselves, admit our limitations—disease-related or not—and nurture our strengths. From there we can move forward, undaunted by the trappings of our culture that lie in wait to judge and criticize. If we can listen to and obey that inward voice, amidst the tumult of our daily care, then we will truly come to know ourselves. Once you know, then you can trust. Because you trust in yourself, you can succeed—the essence of self–reliance.

“This, above all, to thine own self be true.” Shakespeare suggested such sentiment, followed by Emerson and countless other authors. I read their words and I take faith in the practice. I walk in their footsteps and offer the same. Know who you are, because to this person you are forever responsible.

Eric Devine, 30, has lived with type 1 diabetes since he was 12. He lives in upstate New York with his wife and two daughters where he works as a high school English teacher. Devine is an avid writer and is currently seeking publication of two Young Adult novel manuscripts.