Log It Or Lie About It

03/25/08 Treatment Options

By Eric Devine

I put the blood on the test strip, and while my meter calculates, find my logbook. The meter returns the result and it’s neither what I anticipated nor desire—typically a reading above 200 mg/dl. I frown and toss the strip into the garbage, somehow angry at the device, as if it is responsible for my failing.

Even after 17 years, that’s what it always feels like. I’ve failed, but now, with pen in hand, I have the option to record my error. To write or to not write the number, that is the question.
   
This dilemma is one we are faced with on a daily basis, sometimes multiple times in a day. I cannot remember the last “perfect” day I’ve had. There has always been a high or low reading amidst my blood sugar results that detracted from the overall goal of tight control. Therefore, is it so wrong for me to want to exclude a result or two?

What if I just alter a reading from say 300 mg/dl, down to 250 mg/dl? That’s not as bad, right? I know it isn’t honest, but if these little lies give me even a minor sense of accomplishment or absolution, regardless of how misleading, how wrong can they be?
   
We all know the answer: The only one you are fooling is yourself. It’s true, because, ultimately, your lab results will reveal your true status, and if the numbers from your logbook don’t match up, you’ll have some explaining to do. How do we face the music?
   
There are meters that have a built-in logbook software component, which automatically records the results. These numbers can then be uploaded to a computer and printed for review. This method is incredibly straightforward and leaves little room for error— intentional or not. As I heard one diabetes educator say, “I prefer those because they are more honest.”

However, for those of us more inclined toward pen and paper, the advice is simple, but equally straightforward: Write down all of your results, the good and the bad.
   
Regardless of how you track your blood sugar, try to accept that your readings are not you, but merely a reflection of a short duration of your care. This is, obviously, the most difficult aspect of juggling the numbers.

No one likes to feel ashamed of his or her efforts and subsequent results, especially when so many variables don’t appear to be represented, and when such judgment is passed based on them. But there is nothing dazzling about deception, however face-saving it might feel. It is better to stand marred, but true, than it is to offer false representation.