Incapacitated

07/21/08 Type I Diabetes or Juvenile Diabetes

My youngest is sick and there is nothing I can do to help. I am certain that these words strike an uncomfortably familiar chord for my mother. Fortunately, for me, my daughter has only some upper respiratory congestion with fever and malaise. However, the initial antibiotics did not help, nor did switching to alternates, twice. She even presented red welts across her head and back. All my wife and I could do was watch helplessly. It is this inability to act that is crippling for any parent of a sick child, especially for those where the illness is not going to one day simply disappear.

This is yet another difficulty type 1 diabetes management poses: an ordeal for parents. The majority of newly diagnosed individuals with type 1 diabetes are children younger than 12 years. Therefore, some parental figure must direct the path toward diligent care. I was fortunate; my mother is a registered nurse. Her medical training was invaluable for us both. I owe an overwhelming amount of my continued success to her guiding hand. However, most families do not have this dynamic, and are instead one sick child and one befuddled parent.

The best assistance is education through support groups. Although I was staunchly against support groups as a child, now  I fully comprehend the vital role such services provide both parent and child. Eighteen years ago I never considered that my mother’s cajoling toward joining a support group had just as much to do with her wellbeing as it did my own. Today I feel I owe her an apology. I should have gone.

I now understand my mother’s initial paralysis regarding my diagnosis and her need for support. What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to act? Now I have a limited understanding of her dilemma because of my daughters’ everyday illnesses. I am a “fixer,” and to be unable to apply a kiss, a band-aid, or a dose of Tylenol to make everything all right is daunting.

But my daughters have gotten over each and every ailment. A child with type 1 diabetes, however, doesn’t get better. He or she only learns how to stay healthy, and that knowledge only stems from the parent’s ability to deliver the proper instruction. An for which there is no curriculum, but there is help.

Eric Devine, 30, has lived with type 1 diabetes since he was 12. He lives in upstate New York with his wife and two daughters where he works as a high school English teacher. Devine is an avid writer and is currently seeking publication of two Young Adult novel manuscripts.