Defining Success, One Day at a Time

05/15/08 Living Well

I am successful and I hate it. I feel like if I make a mistake people will say, “Oh I guess he wasn’t that good to begin with.” This idea is so laced with irony it is borderline ludicrous. The notion behind such a statement is the crux of the problem with our quick-to-judge society, or possibly the nature of diabetes. Inherent in it is the accepted definition of success: Winning one day doesn’t make you a success. Winning today and the next and the next, for the rest of your life does. No wonder so many people quit before they even get started.

Who wants to be defined on the basis of taking a test and doing well, only to find that a slightly different one will be given the next day? And there is no way to prepare for the tweak. Certainly not many people would be interested in such. But that scenario is the essence of diabetes. Succeed one day, only to find your methods turned into ineffectual shuffling the next. What do you do when you suddenly find yourself down and out?

Let go. That’s how I’ve made it work. I’ve had no complications, excellent HbA1c results, and most importantly, a good quality of life. I dismiss the aforementioned definition of success and play by my own rules. I do not expect that what worked one day will work the next. I hope that it does, and I track my results diligently, but this isn’t a perfect science. I don’t try to force the square peg into the circular hole. It will never fit.

I recently had a friend, overwhelmed by life, ask me how I manage, how I do so much with so many obstacles in my way. My answer: “I just roll with it. Making something positive out of the negative is the challenge, not getting everything right, all the time.” I do not know if this brought any solace, but I have a feeling it at least allowed a bit of space for the notion to grow.

I like a line form a Beatles’ song, “Life is what happens to you while you’re making other plans.” There’s indispensable truth in those words, especially for us with diabetes. Life and living easily equate to success and being successful. Therefore, if we throw out perfection, then we may actually start living.

Eric Devine, 30, has lived with type 1 diabetes since he was 12. He lives in upstate New York with his wife and two daughters where he works as a high school English teacher. Devine is an avid writer and is currently seeking publication of two Young Adult novel manuscripts.